Life on the Half Shelly from 2GuysTalking

To Be Vain

Shelly Schneider via The 2GuysTalking Podcast Network — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 20:58:39 -0600

Vanity is not my thing. At 44, I find it quite easy to walk out of the house without make-up. At 25 you understand this would have been >GASP!< unthinkable. I figure that by now, scores of doctors, and nurses have seen the ugliest parts of my body so who on Earth is going to scream if I leave without lipstick? It's not the American Express Card for goodness sake. Anyway, I think it was - temporary insanity. You know, the kind you get when you've been with three kids, 24-7? All of a sudden there it was - the glorious excuse to leave the house alone and run to the store.

Snow Days

Shelly Schneider via The 2GuysTalking Podcast Network — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 20:23:38 -0600

Why is it that most every thing that we looked forward to as children, became a great bit HASSLE in adulthood? Driving for example. at 16 the itch to grab the keys and go grocery shopping for my Mom was almost unbearable. At 44, the thought of fighting the traffic to purchase the week's 5th gallon of milk is enough to give me a headache. Remember Snow Days? The season's first major prediction of a significant snowfall sent every child in the neighborhood straight to their bedside for heartfelt prayers...

Practice What You Preach

Shelly Schneider via The 2GuysTalking Podcast Network — Mon, 25 May 2009 20:06:38 -0500

I heard a radio psychologist on the radio the other day and they said that "kids are born selfish. It's the parents job to teach them how to be responsible and giving. My favorite catch-phrase - today - is "easier said than done." My mom has it down to a science. She was an elementary school teacher for more than 18 years so maybe that has something to do with her ability to remain calm, cool, and collected. My Mom was visiting a couple of weeks ago when the little neighbor boy decided to go gallivanting in the empty lot next to our house...

Sharing a REAL Mindset - Shelly's On the Radio!

Shelly Schneider via The 2GuysTalking Podcast Network — Mon, 25 May 2009 20:05:10 -0500

It's a pleasure to share this great, recent interview with a local AM radio talk show called "The Mindset" With John Brown and Trish Gazell. Click on the link at left and be sure to tell Shelly what you thought of this interview regarding her first book: "Life on the Half Shelly: Pearls of Wisdom and Observations that Stick to You Like Sand in a Wet Bathing Suit"...

Mommy Jeopardy

Shelly Schneider via The 2GuysTalking Podcast Network — Mon, 25 May 2009 19:57:08 -0500

It's hard for me to just jump on the elliptical and start moving. Face it - ellipticizing is borrrrring! You can't really read a magazine, at least I can't without falling off and injuring myself. I'm also not the type that can meditate while on a machine. My mind wanders. Some people use MP3 players to make the time pass, I tried that, but my kids MP3 players are filled with the REAL MEN OF GENIUS commercials, and last week I nearly fell off the machine laughing ...

Gilligan's Island and Being Holy(er)

Shelly Schneider via The 2GuysTalking Podcast Network — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 13:49:05 -0500

Lately, I've been praying for the desire to be more "holy". And during lent I tried to put that desire into practice. I'm human though, and being holy isn't even a day-to-day thing, it's a minute-by-minute thing. On a recent Lenten Wednesday, I chose to be right - not holy. I grew up watching the shows that TVLand and Nick at Nite now call "classic". Does that make me feel old? You bet. Do I care? Of course not... Also: Look for more details about Shelly's New Book, "Life on the Half Shelly", in stores and on Amazon.Com soon!

Christmas Overload

Shelly Schneider via The 2GuysTalking Podcast Network — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 13:46:44 -0500

Ooof - Thank goodness it's over. Don't get me wrong - Christmas is, as the song so aptly states, "the most wonderful time of the year." For some reason though, I had a different vision of Christmas morning. My version played out like an episode of Little House on the Prairie. You know: everyone's sitting around a fire, just happy to be together, and the kids ecstatic with a doll or a truck left by Santa Claus. The week before Christmas, our priest said something about presence VS. presents. I should have known better. Many years ago it went something like this...

Gift Certificates - The Perfect Gift - Right?

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 13:46:15 -0500

In the immortal of Charlie Brown, "Good grief." Or maybe I should take a page from Scrooge's book and say "Bah! Humbug!" What could throw me so harshly from the warmth of the season into the depths of Grinchdom? (Record Scratches to a Halt) Hot Chocolate. I know - it all sounds very cheery and warm and Cindy Lou Who-ish. The truth is that is how things started...

Fool for the Fall

Wed, 15 Apr 2009 13:42:28 -0500

Ahh, Spring: The time when a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of love (SPRoiiing!!!) -- or some such nonsense. Have you ever noticed the age old saying mentions nothing of women? Did you ever wonder WHY? It might be because I have too much time on my hands, but with three kids, I doubt that's it. As my husband "Jim" often says, "Honey, your mind works in strange ways..." So - what thoughts occur in a woman's mind during springtime?

Election Day Special: Common Sense is in Danger...

Sun, 01 Nov 2008 12:44:01 -0600

President Bush spoke to the American people on September 24th and declared that our economy is in danger. I agree. I'm going to provide a few warnings here before I go any further. First of all, this is not going to be a warm and fuzzy recording, people. I am mad (lion growls...)

Auction Mania

12 Aug 2008 05:18:29 GMT

When most people think of Summer, visions of sunshine and flowers enter their minds. Me? Well I've always been a little bit different. I think of Summer and "Auctions" occupy my mind. Oh, I've picked up a few nick knacks here and there. Maybe a birthday gift , or two. Wait - there was that one MAJOR purchase a few years back. Here's my own Action Adventure Tale of Auction Mania...

Dos and Don'ts for a Successful Family Trip

12 Aug 2008 05:18:29 GMT

It's vacation time. We're driving to Florida this year, dropping the kids off with my parents and Jim and I will have some >GASP!< time alone. I have been looking forward to it for months and to tell you the truth, the kids have been looking forward to spending time with their grandparents. I learned a long time ago what to do and what NOT to do for a successful family trip.

TV's Best Moms

12 Aug 2008 05:18:29 GMT

Y'know, with Mother's Day just around the corner, our conversations in the newspaper office centered around the best TV Moms of All Time. Doug said the best television Mom without question was Peg Bundy >record scraaaatch!<" (Married with Children theme song starts)

Procrastination

12 Aug 2008 05:18:29 GMT

Procrastinate. The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines the word as this: "To put off intentionally and habitually. To put off intentionally the doing of something that should be done. Let's see how. It's April 2008. To what could I possibly be referring?..."

Buzz Off!

12 Aug 2008 05:18:29 GMT

Mascots. You know, those adorable creatures that rally the crowd at sporting events? They're not just for high school or college football games anymore, in fact some stores or eating establishments have their own mascot. I was really here nor there when it comes to mascots, in fact I'd never really game it a lot of thought - until last week. My brother Tucker and his wife, Kristin, and their two boys came to visit us for a week. It was a wonderful and we decided to spend our last evening together at the kids' favorite restaurant..."

Valentine's Day Horror Stories

12 Aug 2008 05:18:29 GMT

Before listening any further, please put yourself in the Dragnet frame of mind >Duhn, Duh duhn-duhn...< The stories you're about to hear are true. Only the names have been changed to protect the very guilty, because let's face it: I don't want to be responsible for these guys being chased out of town or pummeled by other Valentine's Day Victims. I started out conducting research for this podcast, wanting to prove that Valentine's Day is for men too..."

Bobby Knight's 900th Win

12 Aug 2008 05:18:29 GMT

Alll together now - OOooooh. Bobby Knight recently won his 900th game as a head coach. Wait - I'd better call him Mr. Knight - or Coach Knight. This could somehow get back to him and I'd wake up a week from now with his hands around my neck. So, do you think he's ready for retirement soon? I'm not sure people like Mr. Knight could ever retire. Maybe we could find him a different kind of job though..."

Real Life Award Show

12 Aug 2008 05:18:29 GMT

We are actually in the middle of the award show season. The Golden Globes, the Oscars - that kind of stuff. The Soap Opera Digest Awards are a personal favorite of mine, as are the Oscars. Maybe it's just a female thing, I'm not sure. What other spring time event combines big-name entertainers, glamorous clothes and jewelry and great munchies along with endless speeches...?